Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I AM VODKA MAN
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
