So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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