we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
