It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
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