please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
