I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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