normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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