I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
