There is no way he is gay with that hair.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
