you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
