Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
