i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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