i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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