If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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