Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
