i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize