i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize