You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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