OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
