So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Randomize