I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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