I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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