Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
