i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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