i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
