I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
