I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
It's blow job season.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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