There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
