why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
