how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
