wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
