How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize