then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
