YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
