omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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