you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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