I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
