Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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