I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Randomize
