I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Randomize
