so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize
