I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
