After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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