You're so nebulous sometimes
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
