Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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