You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I just want to make out with him forever
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
