I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Your cock deserves a montage
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
