her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
