One girl and one boy is just not enough.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
