she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize