She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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