woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
