I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
