is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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