he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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