Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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