im holly from the hills drunk
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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